Writing on The Mirror
A diary for vulnerable, honest & creative expression.
I’m Not a Writer.
Hey, I’m Rebecca Espinoza. I could easily give a long list of adjectives to identify myself, but rather than an “I am” statement, I’ll share this about myself: I love to write. I love to be creative. Does that make me a writer? Does it make me an artist or a creative? Maybe. But I’m choosing not to entirely identify with these labels because I then feel a pressure to always show up as a writer and a creative. Rather, writing and being creative are experiences I enjoy. I may not do them all of the time but damn, I love them and the love for these experiences is enough for me.
Like most human beings in this developed world, I’ve been writing most of my life (well, since the first day I put pencil to paper). As a little girl, I remember how much I loved to read and have my imagination nourished by fictional stories. When I entered high school and had to write comparative essays and analyze literature, I kicked ass at it (this isn’t a brag; it’s just something I loved to do).
And yes, I did have a diary with a key & lock when I was a little girl. Oh, I even got my best friends from middle to start a collaborative journal in a composition notebook where we shared all of our day’s updates, thoughts, and whatever else mattered to 12-year-olds.
I can’t quite pinpoint an exact moment when I began to identify as a writer or a storyteller, but they’re experiences that have always been in my life (mostly). I lost touch with writing when I was in college, mostly because I lost myself. I didn’t do much other than study & party—the typical college experience. The 2 forms of self-expression I did entirely just for myself were starting yoga and joining a fashion club. Other than that, I was deeply out of touch with my heart’s curiosities and soul’s expression.
I had a “rock bottom” moment when I was 22, post-graduation. I finally began to understand that I had been experiencing depression and anxiety for years. This ‘aha’ moment truly changed my life forever. Shout-out to Brene Brown’s TEDTalk on The Power of Vulnerability. She held a mirror right in front of me, reflecting back to me what I was lacking and what I so deeply desired.
I began to explore my own story again—what it was at the time, what it had been in the past, and what I wanted it to become—in the therapy room. I remembered the truth of my own voice through honest reflection and curiosity; this is when I started to pick up a journal, returned my pen to paper, and haven’t stopped since.
A Story to Tell.
My written words have been my allies, my teachers, my challengers, my safe haven, and my beacon of hope. Today, I don’t shy away from letting myself be seen & heard in intimate containers or public spaces. I say ‘yes’ when I mean it. I say ‘no’ when I mean it.
I can do this because I’ve taken the time to know myself—to be curious, to be accepting, to be compassionate. However, before I found this sense of security (one that is still challenged) & speak aloud my heart’s expressions, I was insecure & unsure. It was in my journal where I let myself be seen & heard by the person that mattered most—myself. I gave form to thoughts. I offered words to emotions. I processed heartbreak and rage. I honored lovers & healed trauma. I told my story.
Everyone has a story to tell because you’re here…alive & breathing. Sometimes we forget how special that is until we take a moment to reflect. Whether you choose to share your stories publicly or keep them to yourself, they’re worth telling.
I reached a point when I started to share my writing with communities (online and in-person). My journal entries became poetry and short stories inspired by life itself. Again, these expressions of writing are avenues for me to heal, honor, and explore different parts of myself.
Writing on the Mirror.
So what is “Writing on the Mirror”?
Think of it as a collective diary that can be expanded on. When it comes to writing, I don’t hold back. When I write, I share my honest heart’s reflections, curiosities, grief, and passions. My journal or phone’s notes app was always a place for me to hold a mirror up to myself and reflect, bullshit aside. Sometimes, we don’t like what’s being reflected back to us but it’s still part of the story. What will we do with those parts? Will we integrate them? Runaway from them? Mend and tend to them? Celebrate them?
This is a space that holds a mirror for reflection, creativity, and self-expression. I’ll share reflective & vulnerable perspectives, stories (personal and fictional), and poetry for the souls that seek inspiration.
For my free readers (ILY & thank you!), you’ll receive a post 2x/month.
For my paid subscribers (ILY & thank you!)…
At least once a week (and sometimes more!), I’ll share what’s currently on my heart in the form of a personal journal entry, a poem, a love letter, a short story, or whatever else wants to come through. I’ll do this in hopes of holding a mirror back to you, inviting you to take to the page (or your notes app) and do the same! If you’re a paid subscriber (ILY & thank you!), you’ll be able to share your writing within the community chat or maybe it’s a question you want to create dialogue around. As long as it doesn’t emotionally or mentally harm others, it’s welcome!
Thank you for contributing to the writing on the mirror in whatever way you do—whether it’s through your own shared writing you offer the community or by supporting my work. Your presence is so deeply appreciated!
With love & gratitude,
Rebecca Espinoza